‘But I didn’t order this,’ the smaller child wailed the other evening, staring at her plate of oven-roasted vegetables with dismay. ‘There’s been some mistake in the kitchen!’ Normally, I’d be very sympathetic. I hate it when restaurants bungle my order. But we were not in a restaurant, we were at the dining room table, […]
Moms on Mars – in space you can hear no one scream
Dear organisers of the Mars One Mission (M.O.M.) It has recently come to my attention that you are planning to establish a human settlement on Mars, and I would really, really like to volunteer to be a part of it. You may wonder why I – a very tired 40-something mother of two small children […]
It’s Not Easy, Being Green
‘Just look at this horrible mess!’ bellowed the bigger child the other day. ‘Who did this?’ At first I thought she may be referring to the post-breakfast fallout under the dining room table … but no. Apparently I’m still the only one who notices that. Or cares about it. Or cleans it up. What the […]
Wolf Moons and Alpha Pups
Did you know that the first full moon of the year was once known as the Wolf Moon? I picked this snippet up online and shared it with my older child one cold January night, as we had a magical mommy-daughter moment, holding hands and looking up at that moon. Perhaps I should have chosen […]
Of Pinterest, Feral Children and the Kruger National Park
Ever since the bigger child turned 8 and is now ‘practically a teenager’, we’ve been clashing over what she is and isn’t allowed to do. ‘You’re, like, totally controlling,’ she told me a few days ago. ‘No I’m not. And speak properly. And stand up straight.’ ‘You’re also overprotective. What do you ever let me […]
Morning Mood
What’s the music of your morning? These days, mine is far less ‘Morning Mood’ and more ‘Ride of the Valkyries’; less sipping herbal tea as I watch the sun peer pinkly over the Alps, and more hefty contributions to the Swear Jar as I run around trying to get everybody ready and out of the […]
Possessed: mum’s stuff meets the messy elves
I know what they mean, about children keeping you young: every day, I’m sounding more and more like a toddler. ‘My shoes,’ I find myself saying, firmly, pointing to the object in question. ‘My bed. My phone. Mine!’ It started innocuously enough: one bored afternoon the older child nicked a pair of my shoes to […]
Talking About a Resolution
‘Guess what kind of doggie I am,’ yapped the smaller child, before lying down on the floor and throwing some kind of fit. ‘A rabid one?’ I ventured, as she tried to bite my feet. It wasn’t the right answer. She was actually being a Chihuahua. One without a sense of humour, apparently. Poor child. […]
Old wives’ tales
Well, it’s cold and flu’ season again. That time of year when Old Wives’ Tales get hauled out of storage and tossed into almost every conversation: got the sniffles? Well, you need to eat a kilo of raw garlic / soak your feet in a mustard bath / rub a banana skin on your head […]
’Tis the season to be greedy
Is anyone else out there feeling a little … I don’t know … besieged … by the seasonal messages to buy everything in sight? No sooner was Halloween over, than I started being propositioned by my inbox every time I opened my computer. “Holiday deals,” it would purr, sidling up to me like a dodgy […]
